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Life is too much work. I am so glad we have fall break.
Dr.Davis made me really happy on Monday. But then after hearing it from just about everyone in the world, Mrs.Harrington told me that I'm out of Hecuba. Which kind of crushed the whole Dr.Davis thing.

It's understandable, but I swear her words were different before. I had a 58 in AP bio, and she said I had three days to get it up. With the test on Monday, I figured it wouldn't be hard. But then she texted me saying I was out because I'm ineligible. Over 2 percentage points that I'm sure aren't there now. Seeing as I got an 80 on the test AND she's letting us do test corrections to earn some more credit on it. And the lab write up is due on Monday. So I'm pretty positive I'm quite eligible. But I didn't want to say anything to Mrs.Harrington. For now it's one less thing I have to deal with. Which I am fine with.

I didn't have that big of a part, but I was passionate in it. More passionate than most of the other chorus girls. I just wonder what will happen if I'm not in it, seeing as they'll have to redo a scene.

But for now it is fall break. And Krystal and Kristen are coming over tomorrow. To spend the night and make a cake and tacos. And watch Death Note, play Rock Band, and possibly watch Mona Lisa Smile and Iron Man.

I wanted to punch Scotty and Brandon in the face today. They tried to ridicule my love for Robert Downey Jr. First of all, Brandon said he was very unattractive and a terrible actor. Then Scotty tried to say I couldn't justify my likings for him because they were spiked by Iron Man. But I told him I'd never question his fondness for Kate Beckinsale, although I know it's fucking Underworld. Because I've seen about a thousand and one other movies with her, and he's only seen the one. I'm just sick of people, really. I mean, what the fuck? I can like whoever I want. Just because it's not him doesn't mean he should get in my face about it.

I've been rereading Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. I really am quite like Georgia. Being that she's quite mad. I just wish I could be British too. And that things could make a bit more sense now.

And I still hate people. I like being happy and slightly oblivious. Don't try to tear me down just because you wish you could be happy too. Just fucking do it.

Too much drama. Too much school. Too much life.

I don't know what the deal is. I just know that out of nowhere Milan's decided that I'm the worst person on the planet, and decided to throw a camera at me. The one I bought her for her birthday. At her birthday party. And I think that's just too much to take in this week. I have tests. And I'm failing AP US. I just really need to put life on hold for a little bit, and get everything straightened out. I don't have time to spend nights agonizing in anger, wanting to tear someone's face off.

I need to work on school. Life should just stop happening. I am so behind in everything. I need to learn my lines for Hecuba, make time for rehearsal every day, and still learn my lines for Sister's Grim. While managing to get a costume made between now and then.

But it's not mental breakdown time. Not yet. It's too early in the year for that. And there's not enough happening. No. I think the breakdown is coming in October. We'll be doing Hecuba, and Creeps. While still doing Haunted Castle. And, you know, that whole high school thing. Where I need to be making straight A's.

I miss summer already.

but I do
it feels so wrong to sing this song
but maybe someday you'll hear me
and hum along.

The Ludo concert was AMAZING. I am in love with Andrew Volpe and Matt Palermo. They're just so adorable. But I danced so hard at the concert. And I wasn't even tired afterwards. Just on the verge of fainting because I hadn't had enough water.

But they played all of my favourite songs, and more. So it was WAAAY worth it. I still wish we'd gone to Best Buy, though. But oh well.

But then when we were laying on the sidewalk, this asshole guy keeps trying to tell us to sit against the wall. And he's like maybe 19 and not a a security guard or anything. And then he starts telling us about how we're a disgrace to our generation. What the fuck? We weren't drunk or anything. I wasn't aware that being active was such a bad thing. I'll remember that next time I sit in front of my monitor to write and LJ post.

AP Bio is death. But I love Dr.Davis. And I think Mrs.Culp likes me now! I had to talk to her yesterday in 7th hour about why I was failing and blah blah blah. Not being eligible and all that. But I know that it can't be fixed until Friday. She got all pissed off at Ms.Pool. Emailed her about not interrupting her classes. But said I could interrupt them anytime I wanted to. So yay.

Dr.Davis is going to shoot me if I don't turn in the lab report tomorrow. DX

Man.
So they halfway fixed my schedule. I am out of Taliaferro, in my new fourth hour. But I'm not in Harrington. She'll have to email them on Friday, I guess. So I should be there soon. :D

Business Computer Tech is so boring. It's basically a bunch of typing tests. And I already type fast. I mess up a lot, though, because I type my own way. But whatevs. I'm still like the fastest person in there (which is sad).

Swim team is going to kill me. Although it's a heavy workout. I know for a fact that I swam over a mile today. I don't know how much, bot close to twenty laps. And a lap is 40 meters. I rock.

TROPIC THUNDER IS AMAZING. I love Robert Downey Jr even more. I will marry him someday. (oh yes, it will happen.)

Nothing exciting to report. I have no life. D:

Schedule;
AP Bio
AP US History
AP English 30 Youngker
Acting 1-Taliaferro (ummm. Not happening.)
Precalculus-Haley (first day of school, and I was already confused.)
Latin 3 (there are all of five students in there. Some of which are AP)
Swim Team

So, in order to fix my schedule, I'm going to have to drop Latin. But I got it all worked out with the teacher, so I'll just pick up some work every week and do it on my own time. Which won't be terrible. Anything to get out of Taliaferro.

Snow Falling on Cedars was pretty boring. I mean, I liked Things Fall Apart, and I still couldn't stand this. There just wasn't any mystery in it. It was like "find out who the Japanese were mysteriously exiled."

Only it's not a mystery. It was after Pearl Harbor, and everyone decided that they were spies, and made them leave.

I didn't even try Huck.

I went to my friends' concert last night. And it rocked. Although they're currently still a cover band, it was a lot of fun.

Kristen, Milan, Krystal, Phil, and I were dancing around like crazy. And we got all the weird looks from people. But they were mostly like that "what losers. I wish I was brave enough to do that" sort of thing. It was SO awesome.

But then I almost passed out, so I had to skip the last song and cool down in the bathroom.
And then after the show, Milan poured water ALL over me. And then, naturally, the gorgeous guitarists walks up and talks to me. While I'm rolling around on the ground, doused in water, trying to cool myself off. My hair was a total mess, and I probably looked like a loon.

But hey, maybe that's the kind of girl he's into.. You never know...

Oh, and when we went to pick Krystal up, Kristen and I are fumbling around with the CD player, both of us looking down and trying to fix it. And then out of the backseat, Krystal's like "we're still moving, you know?"

Oh, and I almost hit one of the guitarists in the face. They had beach balls, and I kicked one. Totally went like right up his body. Freaked him out. But it was fun. And then Milan was like "I like Brandon's guitar. I have underwear just like it."

XDDD

And then we made more videos. And all that jazz. And I have to leave to go to Herschel's surprise party in like 3 hours. And I only got 4 hours of sleep last night.

FUN STUFF.

I think I got all the dancing out of my system for like an hour.. We went through every phase of dance. We did Technoviking, the windmill, moshing, techno dancing in general, jumping up and down, head banging. And then did them all over and over again. And they dedicated Say It Ain't So to us, since we danced to their songs, and all.

One day, and I'm in love.

Sunrise.
The most gorgeous thing in the world.

Even though we didn't get to spend much time there, and I never got to swim, all it took was 20 minutes on the beach. And I was home. Just being close to the water make me feel whole.

And sadly, I only got those 2 pictures..
D:

Real post about Miami coming up.
:D

For now, sleeeeeep.

and even then we'll start again and just pretend that nothing ever happened.

This is what happens when you stay up all night with your friends.



And also this..

Ludo.
Is playing on Tuesday.
I think I can go!
I hope so.
I'm so excited.

My wallet ran away today. D:
It didn't have any money in it, but still.
I spent $16 on it, so I want it back.
Although I got it from Hot Topic, and HT sucks.
But still.
$16.

I went Christmas shopping. Again..
I finally almost got everything.
I've spent over $40 so far.. And that's with shopping at the Dollar store.
But I'm proud of myself. I'm actual going to give people stuff this year. Finally.
And I wrapped it all too. It took FOREVER.

I watched Ice Skating. Russian's are my favourite. They're just so different, and they really go for it, unlike everyone else. They were amazing. BUT the stupid judges deducted them for something they shouldn't have, and the stupid French people won. They fell right AFTER their thing was over, and they still counted off. The French people, their routine looks so plain and boring, and even their costumes are bland. Unlike the Russians. But they still won.
Although apparently judges have always favoured Russians in the past, so it's like they're trying to even things out. Even though the Russians are still better...

And if I were a skater, I'd pick better songs. Theirs are so boring. I would choose more modern music. But oh well, I'm not a figure skater.

My Latin teacher is going to teach me French. Because I told her I want to learn a lot of languages and be a translator. It'll be good. Then Cindy can help me learn German. And it'll keep building off of that.

I told Semone she reminded me of a monkey on Friday, and she punched me. Actually, it was more insulting than that. She said 'I don't like them because they go OOOH OOOH AHHH AHHH' Then I said, "Ohh! Just like you!" So she hit me. But I was ready for it. We joke around like that a lot, so I think it was fair. Although if she ever decided to jump me, I would die. She's like 6'3" and almost 200 lbs. I am not.

I did no work Thursday or Friday. It was nice. Except I took a quiz in AP world, which I totally aced. Ha, I got one of the questions right because of the song Istanbul by They Might be Giants. It was pretty funny.

ohmfahguh.
I have a C in AP world.
Finally.
And an A in English? Funny, since I almost never do the work..
Well, I'm a lot closer to Columbia this year than I was last year. I actually looked up stuff on it today, and talked to my grandma about it. And how it costs $50,000 a year... BUT it's all good.
I hope I get in.

I have no life.
I realized this at JBB when I didn't have anyone to hang out with. I've just fallen out of touch with everyone. And it sucks. So I need to change that.
I did the stupid, teenage, getting all wrapped up in my boyfriend. But I don't need to.
I moved in here because it's much better all together, and not just because he lives a block away.
I mean, I see him EVERY day. I need to spend time with my friends. And fix things.
I'm glad freshmen year is over. So much drama. So glad to be rid of the Era of Miranda. Miss-Let Me Control Your Life and Who You're Friends With. No.

I have a shot at the new Dance Team at RenFaire. And I really want it. But I need to shape up, and finish my character for Christ's sake. 3 years I've been working there, and still haven't finished it.
And I need to step up in drama. I completely suck. But in my head I know I could do better, I'm just not really trying. So I need to.
And I need to step up in school so that I can go to Columbia.
It's not really a lot to manage, I've just been putting it all off for so long. Which is why I need to stop. And face up. And be a better person. And I need to quit putting my friends off for the boy whom I see every day. He can wait. He's been around for 9 months, I'm sure he can handle a couple days a week without me.

Anyway.
Across the Auditorium. At Edison in May. I'm going to be Lucy! But Lucy doesn't have a very big part. And the part of Max, my brother, is Ty. ahahaha.
I got a coat today. An actual coat. I haven't had one of those in years. And I like it.

And that's about it..
It's been over a year since Inge died. It seems weird. I've gotten so used to her not being there, it's like I've forgotten she ever was to begin with..

I feel so much better than I have in months. Ding dong the witch is dead. God finally put a bullet through her head.
It's amazing how idiotic Miranda is.
She posted a note on facebook about blah blah blah, I don't need you as a friend and you can go fuck a dog. Which is a stupid enough thing to say in the first place. So she, and Lora get into a big fight and she's like dahdahdah that note wasn't even about you so fall off your high horse.
Of course, her response is "oh, who else decided to drop you as a friend?"
Classic.
Anywho.
I got payed for the castle! $100. Which means we got the bonus! (I think)
So now I get to live out my happy days as a lumberjack. (or something like that.. haha)

Neunundneunzig Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich für schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer hätte das gedacht?
Daß es einmal so weit kommt
Wegen neunundneunzig Luftballons
Neunundneunzig Luftballons
I want to learn how to say that properly.

Across the Universe is AAAAAMMMAZZZZAZZZINNGG. I've seen it twice and LOVEIT. I sobbed. It was so good. But of course EVERYONES favourite scene is strawberry fields forever.

Best friends are stupid.
At least the ones that just pretend to be your best friends.

Her little oh poor me act isn't going to work now.
And just because you're close, makes her think she can dictate who your friends are. Hell no.
My friends are my friends, and you're not one of them.
My BEST FRIEND Hayley has always been there, where as you have not.
And to find out that you're the one that's been talking about me behind my back this whole time.
So have fun with your little emo life, that's so sad and depressing and everyone's out to get you. [even though no matter how much you fuck up, your parents still give you everything you want. and you can't even give them the courtesy to say thank you.]
I've got more important things to do with my time than waste it on you.

Goodbye Miranda.
I feel so much better without you.

Story of the day last week:
Did you hear about Ty last Thursday? He got egged and flipped out and hit Boris and caused all this drama, blah blah blah.
Yes, I was there.
Zombie movie shooting last Thursday: Zink Park. About nine we're getting the zombie makeup on and these 4 guys egg us. Haha, how funny, you're so original. Ty got hit hard, complains, throws a fit. Yadda yadda. I got hit in the face and I'm just fine.

Thursday October 4, about nine: Zink Park. They show up again. Ah, again with the funny and original. Scotty, Jordan, Boris, and Brian run after them to figure out who they are. Because now we know for a fact they know our schedule and they're planning it. No big deal, just want to find out who's doing it.
15 guys, mostly white, some black. Brian chases the fat black guy because he's the slowest. This other skinny kid pulls out a gun [a fucking gun!] and aims it at Brian. So he back off. Then they're running to their cars and Brian follows. They are flooring it, now they just have to switch into drive. 3 different cars. One drives past him, one backs up into the neighbourhood, while the other heads toward Brian, swerves toward him, and hits him. Brian jumped and only hit the hood and the sideview mirror.
So we're all extremely pissed now. Brian's mom is there and tells Brian to call the cops. They send an ambulance and soon after come. The guys come back to laugh at us, notice the cops, and immediately leave. [at this point we know what the three cars were, just not the tag numbers or anything]
So now all we've got is a story for the police, the eggs and scrape on Brian's arm to prove it.

We're not getting any filming done, so people go to collect all of the stuff. Scotty runs across an ID on the ground. A student ID.
Booker T. Fucking Booker T.
Idiots.
Haha very funny, let's egg some Edison theatre kids.
Now that the gun and cars come into the picture and the ID, they're dead. The gun is a felony. Tomorrow morning cops are going to be at Booker T, questioning the kid they've identified. Guess Booker T doesn't have such a good reputation now.

In other news:
Brian's new catch phrase is: WHAT THE FUCKKK!
So last night while we were filming Brian would be like "okay, quiet on the set!" then he would trip and fall on the ground and drop all of his stuff, "WHAT THE FUCKKK! Okay you guys, let's just take a minute to sit down. One minute break. ... Okay, let's go." That happened to him at least five times.
Story of the day tomorrow:
Did you hear about those Booker T. kids that pulled a gun on Brian?

My sister bought me a book about three years ago. "the Last Vampire 6: Creatures of Forever" by Christopher Pike, my favourite author.
I was absolutely thrilled, but realized it was the sixth, and final, book of a series.
So I made a desperate attempt to read the first five.
I found the first two in the library system, and read them right away. But then I had trouble finding the third.
Finally, after looking in bookstore after bookstore, I found it. Searching through about five different sections at Gardner's. I was thrilled.
I read it immediately, then hungered for more. To know what happen in the last three.
A year later I convinced my step-mom to buy the fourth one for me off of amazon.
I read it all in a day. But still, I couldn't find the fifth.
I found it just a few weeks ago, and read it.
Finally I could read the last one.
And I just finished it.

It was amazing. Couldn't have been more perfect.
The style of writing.
You could tell what was going to happen about five seconds before it happened, but it still completely overwhelmed you when it did.
And the ending. it was the only appropriate one, one you knew was coming. But denied it all along.
Although, it goes through a lot of twists and turns to get to that ending.

Seriously, I cried. It was so good.
I loved it.

Thank you, Starla.

If there's someone who means something to you, tell them. Don't put it off. Step up to the plate and tell people how important they are.

They've just taken Inge off of life support. She has anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. Either way, it's too late to tell her I love her, and how much she meant.
Technically, she died on thanksgiving.

monday, you can fall apart. tuesday, wednesday break my heart. thursday doesn't even start.
-------------------
I went back up to the hospital earlier. Sean kept insisting we leave, but I wanted to stay. Finally, I told him to call for our ride. I kept buying more time, I don't know why.

Just as our ride was getting there, she quit breathing. She gasped, then that was it. One minutes she's there, the next she isn't. Nothing seemed to make sense. Cyndi wasn't in the room. I kept expecting her to open her eyes, but she didn't.
the cooling space inside your chest, you never breathed again.